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The Year Of Me | Mental Health Awareness

January 1, 2018

Hello my lovelies! So it’s been a while since i’ve sat down and wrote a post let alone even uploading one. I’ve fallen of the bandwagon recently and i wanted to sit down today and pour a little bit of my heart out.

 

As i’m writing this it’s new years day and i’m finally feeling a sense of relief. 2017 has been a tough one and honestly i’m glad to see the back of it. 2017 had a lot of realisations and was full of self revelations. 

I’ve never really struggled with mental health personally and i’ve never had any ‘problems’ myself or so i thought. I found myself brushing off ‘sad days’ as something hormonal, or just a bad day but those ‘bad days’ kept coming. Now I have a good life (in a non bragging way), i have an amazing family, boyfriend, close group of friends and i’m in a good paying job that i love but still i was sad. I had so much to be happy for so i couldn’t possibly be sad. But i was.

Normal everyday things i loved doing started to become a chore and the thought of getting up in the morning and facing the day was daunting. I found myself saying no to things i wanted to do and i couldn’t understand why. I got deep into this ‘slump’ and i became lazy with no motivation, i put on weight due to being so inactive and that made me feel even worse.

But i got up everyday, i put on my face and i faced the world. I went to work, i smiled and i laughed, i came home spent time with my family and did my everyday things but that feeling was still there, following me like a grey cloud. A light in the tunnel was reading mental health bloggers posts. Again all this time i was still brushing off that how i was feeling wasn’t something to do with my mental health, but as i was reading more and more i realised that maybe something was wrong and that other people feel it too. Suddenly i didn’t feel as guilty for not being happy when i should be and that i was okay. It’s not something i would describe as being a ‘mental health problem’ as i wasn’t educated in it nor did i have anyone around me who had suffered so i couldn’t recognise the signals.

Now fast forward a few months and i’m feeling slightly better. I still have bad days, some worse than others but i feel more of a relief knowing that i’m not alone and that mental health is something real. It’s not to be brushed off and yes it should be spoken about more. So here’s to 2018, to focusing on me. To gain back everything i love doing, to find the motivation and to be happy. 2018 will be ‘the year of me’.

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